On Saturday my cat got hit by a 4 by 4 and died later at the vets, my parents are on holiday so I had to deal with it head on. I have never taken the loss of a pet this hard before.
I woke up this morning and decided I really want to get a tattoo so I can remember him the way he was before the accident, I don't want the mental image of what he looked like when me and the neighbors son took him to the vets or what he looked like when I said goodbye for the final time.
The process of planning the tattoo has really helped, I had to look at pictures of him so I could draw up a good design. I had to think about my memories of him to come up with the elements I want to include in the tattoo. I'm picking out nicknames me and my parents had for him and hand lettering them. I want the tattoo to be lighthearted and put a smile on peoples faces because that is what Casper did on a daily basis. This design progress is stopping me from blocking it all out and trying to just push it to the back of my mind. And through the process I am learning it is perfectly okay for me to be upset about this. He was a family member and I am so glad so far no one has said "he was only a cat". "Just get another" or "losing a dog is worse". I know my heartbreak is very valid and very real and that art is 100% helping me through the loss.
I don't know when I will actually be able to get the tattoo done but I feel the designing alone is helping me through the process. I feel like I can take something away from this, whatever happens be it good or bad that energy can be put into something more constructive which still confronts the problem instead of running from it.
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